Major Patch -- Hard Drinks for a Hard Bun

Major Patch was, like, way cheated by certain Buntenders, who, like, would water his drinks down. <stomp>: Nobun appreciated that Major Patch was a way healthy bun! <blushswoon> And, like, he was a way responsible drinker, too, no matter what that report on Singapore said. <pout> So we have listed the drinks we know he liked.

The Bunhattan

The classic of milbuns, this flaming tribute to cuteness is the number-one choice of Major Patch and all those who wanted to be like him. Only The General's were stronger.

ToeJuice Twister

An elegant drink he would, like, share with his many doe-friends. (Before he met me, of course! <preen>)

The Cuton Bomb

Named in honor of his nephew, the way smart LennyMentat Fluffbuns, this is, like, a jiggle of Snapple(tm) with a shot of 120 proof soda water, lemon fizz, and a carrot stirrer, over ice. To drink it, you, like, lift the glass and chant "I was only following orders", and then you drink it in one gulp. Then, like, throw the ice at a Fudd. The variants "It's not my fault" and "I wasn't even there" are cool, too.

The Stomper

The drink he invented for his bun troops. Carrots and Parsley, blended, and then, like, added to his special secret formula. <wiggle> The secret died with him. <mournfulfluff> But any bun that couldn't drink three straight up and then, like, hop straight out of the bar without tripping, was drummed out of the service! Major Patch was a hard, hard bun! <swoon>