Lance L.'s Valentine to the NGG:

   dearest juliana and the lovely ngg,
for thee on valentine's day,
   i would be yours,    
to do what you may
   cure the janice collective
of her dyslexia that doth annoy
   let the aire from her tyres
or be yr. boy-toy
   i'd shampoo yr. hair
if you so desire
   and serve single malt scotch
by a roaring hearth fire
   to soothe aches and pains
thy backs would i rub
   with strong gentle hands
if it's me doth thou dub.

    as you can plainly see, i'm no poet,
but my sentiments are true
    i stand 6 foot 7
and mine eyes are quite blue
    ive blonde curly locks
with just a tint of red
    most my life i've worn docs
and i'm no enemy of ged
    
    to much my dismay
i can send thee no photo
    just pledge my devotion
and await in rec.moto
     your admiring valentine,