Valentine Essay Contest Entries
First of all, what the heck happened to RULES? Only one or two of our entries actually followed the rules. Frankly we think some of you gits didn't even bother to READ the rules. After all we've done for you, even!!Naturally, we Nasty Girlie's did not let a silly thing like this interfere. Since practically all of you didn't follow the rules, then we did not, either. Herewith are the contest Winners!!! We have removed last names to protect the guilty.
First Prize
And the winner is. . . . . . . . .Dan N.
Dan's submission was accompanied by a web page (make sure to check out the link at the bottom of his page) which definately put him over the top. (Sorry, Lance, you didn't know he would cheat.) My, my, some of us are just so overcome by it all that we must sit around being fanned and sipping our drinks, I mean tea until we recover!!!! Unfortunately, since it's after February, we've removed the link to the web page. But you can still read Dan's award-winning essay!
Second Prize
OK, we didn't mention a second prize. Well, we said we're allowed to change our minds, didn't we? Anyway, this contribution was impressive enough to deserve us changing the guidelines just a wee bit. In fact, this contribution almost beat out Dan!Lance L.
Lance is single, and he will provide us with pictures, which we will get up as soon as we get them scanned!!!
Honorable Mentions
These are the also-rans. Each distinctive in its way, so we have some very special awards to present:To Santa, AKA Alan R., for bribery . . . litigation pending.
To David B. for the best use of Self-Promotion.
To Ged M. for best attempt to rhyme actual motorcycle names. And also for plagerism, er, um, Hattribution.
To Ivan R. for best use of the 60's folk-rock style.
To Mark H. for the best use of Bartlett's Familiar Quotations. Frankly you can do worse than serenade us with Shakespeare.
To Mike W. for best use of a Volvo.
Listen, guys, you'll get the handsome certificates when we get around to it. (Girls, did we make any other promises to these guys?)
Oh, and thanks but no thanks to the rest of you who wrote in your lame excuses for valentines. I mean, look, we gave Alan an Honorable mention, so you can IMAGINE what they were like!!!!
NGG Diatribe
Oh, and the rules??? Well, Dan went over 200 words. WAAAAAAAYYY over. No surprise here. AND he did a web page. Who said anything about web pages? Well, Dan, dearie, it worked!Lance, Ged, Ivan, and Mark provided poetry, not essays. Don't you guys know the difference between poetry and prose? Ged, Ivan and Mark even plagiarized!!!! Well, at least borrowed heavily. Fortunately for you guys, the NGG has a high enough percentage of current and former grad students to know the difference between plagiarism, satire and attribution. Or you'd be dead meat!!!
David told us he likes women, but not why he should be the valentine of the NGG. The princess can keep you.
Mike's went over the verbiage limit, too, and there was more of Janice in it than the NGG. (Janice is NOT in the NGG, Mike).
And Alan, honey, bribery is not an approved courtship activity. Did I miss anything Girls?)