1998 Valentine Essay Contest Winners
Well, for the most part you did not follow the rules again. We got poetry from a lot of you, and most of you went over 200 words. Well, worse things could happen, and there is a certain virtue in going way over the limit to sing our praises. Maybe next year we'll even specify poetry and over 200 words in our rules!!!None of the entries presented us with quite the stunning imagery as that of last year, to wit, the mental image of Dan getting a full body tattoo of Alan Rickman.
First Prize
And the winner is. . . . . . . . .C. Ted Payne
Ted had the insight, or dumb luck or whatever to hit on a brilliant idea. He actually paid serious attention to us and identified each individual's specific likes. Then he crafted that into a poem where the meter doesn't get too beat out of shape. This, my friends, is class! Anyone trying to figure out what women want would do well to check out Ted's poetry!
Second Prize
We got a few good entries this year, and decided to continue and expand our tradition of giving second prizes.
Erich D. Schuler
Although he did not think to individually cite each of us, Erich did focus on our needs rather than his own. Rather deliciously! The foot massage in particular almost netted you first place, dearie! Our hearts are still feeling kind of fluttery! We found this sweet and definately wanted to encourage continuation of this trend.
Third Prize
Third Place presented the NGG with a dilemma. There was a significant, but very polite, difference of opinion. We've finally awarded a tie, but there was a significant group of Nasty Girlies who felt that self-deprecating self-absorption was better than vanilla self-absorption. Nontheless, here are our third place winners, with a tiny little nod to Sol for focusing on all those repulsive traits!Simon Oliver
presented us with a rose. How lovely, thank you Sol. The poem was short, and kept within the word limit. But Simon, honey, its all about YOU. And what a failure with women you are, at that. While I'm sure that its all true, why on earth did you think that it would inspire us to be your valentine? Dearie, you need some self esteem! Not to mention some attention to us, of course. You know, girls, I am beginning to think that Sol is in need of a personal visit. By as many of us as possible. I think I can find some time in MY busy schedule. At your expense of course, dearie. All at once, of course. Aren't you glad you entered the contest?
Ivan Reid
does not appear to lack self-esteem like Sol. And he does single out each of us individually. But Ivan dear isn't your essay all about YOU? Rather self focused, don't you think? And yes, teddy bear, dearie, we do all like you, at least those of us who have met you (either electronically or in person), but next year let's concentrate on why YOU like US!Ivan does get a special thumbs up for being the ONLY Git who actually sent in an entry both last year and this year, and he is already beloved by many of the NGG for the copious amounts of swiss chocolate that he has provided, and for sending us real live valentines last year!
Annual NGG Diatribe
Guys, guys, guys. Above company excluded, the rest of the entries were simply not quite up to snuff. Too slap dash and not thought out enough. If you expect us to bake you scones, dearies, you need to put some effort into your submissions! Now, now, don't cry.And we got no essays at all from girls! Surely there is a woman or two out there who would like to be the sweetheart of the Nasty Girlie Gang. And I KNOW there are some nasty girlies who would not mind it! Not at all!