You might be an engineer ...

- If you introduce your wife/husband  as  "mylady@home.wife/husband"

- If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner

- If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

- If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas

- If Dilbert is your hero

- If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

- If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50

- If your  idea  of  good  interpersonal communication  means  getting the
     decimal point in the right place

- If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys

- If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car

- If you  have  used  coat hangers and duct tape for something  other than
     hanging coats and taping ducts

- If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find
     the burnt-out bulb in the string

- If you window shop at Radio Shack

- If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-
     fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

- If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area

- If you  are  convinced  you can build a phazer out of  your  garage door
     opener and your camera's flash attachment

- If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

- If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush

- If you own "Official Star Trek" anything

- If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside

- If a team of you and your coworkers have set out to modify the antenna on
     the radio in your work area for better reception

- If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project

- If you  are  currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear
     reactor

- If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

- If you have never backed-up your hard drive

- If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games,
     but are afraid to say it out loud

- If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"

- If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions

- If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it

-  If  the  thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters
     your mind

- If you  rotate  your  screen savers more frequently than your automobile
     tires

- If you  have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own
     turns bread into charcoal

- If you need a checklist to turn on the TV

- If your IQ is higher than your weight

- If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

- If you  have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and
     have seen most of the shows already

- If you  have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN
     stands for

- If you  know  how to take the cover off of your computer, and  what size
     screw driver to use

- If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting

- If people groan at the party when you pick out the music

- If you  can't  remember where you parked your car for the 3rd  time this
     week

- If your checkbook always balances

- If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone

- If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life

- If you   thought  the  real  heroes  of  "Apollo  13"  were  the mission
     controllers

- If you  think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't
     get enough sleep

- If you spend more on your home computer than your car

- If you know what http:/ stands for

- If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio

- If your  three  year  old son asks why the sky is blue  and  you  try to
     explain atmospheric absorption theory

- If your lap-top computer costs more than your car

- If your  4  basic  food  groups are: 1. Caffeine  2.  Fat  3.  Sugar
     4. Chocolate