Kentucky Medical Terminology for the Layman

artery--The study of fine paintings
Barium--What to do when CPR fails
Benign--What you be after you be eight
Caesarean section--A district in Rome
Colic--A sheep dog
Congenital--Friendly
Dilate--Live long
Fester--Quicker
GI series--Baseball games between teams of soldiers
Hangnail--A coat hook
Medical staff--A doctor's cane
Minor operation--Coal digging
Morbid--A higher offer
Nitrate--Lower than the day rate
Node--Was aware of
Organic--Church musician
Outpatient--A person who has fainted
Postoperative--A letter carrier
Protein--In favor of young people
Secretion--Hiding anything
Serology--A study of English knighthood
Tablet--A small table
Tumor--An extra pair
Varicose veins--Veins very close together

(Junior Deaton, Ages Kentucky) "Hometoun Humor, U.S.A."